01 January 2013

52 genuine-lame excuses your friends might use [over a phone] to avoid you on Friday nights/Weekends this year

52 genuine-lame excuses your friends might use [over a phone] to avoid you on Friday nights/Weekends this year

1. I am in a pub/disco. Can't hear you bitch/dog! Bye. 
2. I am drunk! Take me home... 
3. I got engaged today! 
4. Taking my pregnant wife to hospital! 
5. I am driving a plane/train/spaceship! 
6. I am a vampire tonight and thirsty for blood! 
7. I am in the middle of something ... having sex! 
8. My girlfriend/boyfriend dumped me! 
9. I dumped my girlfriend/boyfriend. 
10. I am gay/lesbian!!! 
11. My boyfriend/girlfriend is gay/lesbian. 
12. What? Is it Friday night? 
13. I am watching a 3D movie. Who is this in a 2D sound? Can't hear you stupid 2D creature 
14. I am out of country for honeymoon! 
15. I am in the jail. Please bail me out!!! 
16. I am going to Mars. NASA offered me a home there! 
17. I am done with you! 
18. Don't you have family? Just shut the heck off! 
19. Sorry. Woke up early, so early in bed. 
20. Making a product release today. [IT guys] 
21. I am reporting bugs. [IT guys] 
22. I am eating Chinese with my Japanese friends. 
23. I am in the Himalayas now. 
24. I am on the top of Everest now! 
25. I was kidnapped this morning. Please pay half a billion dollars to free me.
26. I am sitting on the Great Wall of China. 
27. I died two weeks ago. 
28. Wrong number! 
29. You are calling a year after our last date? Jackass! 
30. Do I know you? 
31. You don't know me! 
32. I am at Antarctica, having ice-cream. 
33. I am sitting on a north pole. 
34. You are a potato. 
35. I am a potato. 
36. I am at under-waters - 1000 miles below sea level. Doing a documentary film for BBC. 
37. I am at the center of earth. 
38. I am inside pyramids, inspecting mummies. Waiting for Imhotep to wake up. 
39. I am filing a divorce. Signing papers. 
40. I am riding an Apache helicopter. 
41. Excuse me! 
42. Hello, this is Wendy. Tom's personal assistant. Do you have an appointment? 
43. I got a lead role for an underwear ad. Going for a film-shooting now. Bye. 
44. I will call you back soon, in next year. 
45. I am performing live on a stage in a zoo. 
46. Who are you again? 
47. Welcome to Swiss bank. How may I assist you in hiding your black money? 
48. I got nominated for Nobel prize/Oscars. 
49. I am driving a road-roller at 120 mph. Talk to you later. 
50. I am sitting in a roller-coaster and power went off. 
51. OK. I am also bringing my four cats and five dogs with me. 
52. I am stuck in an elevator on the 78th floor. Please can you come up?
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