22 December 2016

'Dedicated to', A diary page from 2012

... to ...

demi lovato,
larry and sergey,
da vinci,

... and to love and life ...

[a diary page from 2012]

16 February 2016

Will you give me a chance to start it over again? - Part 2

Part 1 : Will you give me a chance to start it over again?

Continued: >>>

She walked towards the bungalow, alone. She was wearing a white wedding gown like dress, which had started looking pale then.

The atmosphere outside the bungalow was cloudy. It looked like it rained a while ago and it would rain again any next moment. The bungalow looked grand and yet not maintained for a while. It looked like somebody just moved in after a long time. The stairs leading to it were hardly clean. The tiny garden outside the bungalow had grown up in a weird way. There was mud in the garden next to the stairs, and one could see the wet footprints on the porch.

The windows looked minty mist. If one could wipe the fogged water drops off the window, one could see the interior of the house which was movie like. The snow-white tiles were fit into the walls with some dark black tiles in between them. There were some faceless, mystical photos hanging on the walls of the bungalow. The bungalow looked like having duplex rooms. It had a staircase, right inside the big hall, leading to upstairs. As one takes a look at the staircase, one could see the shiny chandelier hanging from the ceiling right at the center of the hall. There was a grand piano placed right at the center of the hall. It was dusted off recently after long time.

As she walked into the porch, she could hear some song being played on the piano. It felt like a sad song. But there was something in that song she felt attracted to. She could not see who was playing it, as she was watching from the old, unclean window. But it was definitely a male figure playing the piano. The piano notes and chords were turning heavy with every passing moment, it was getting sadder with every piano key being stroked. It was still magical. She felt sad, she felt drawn towards it. She felt haunted, haunted by her past.

But what is it that I am worrying about? She thought. She had a powerful magic wand in her possession and she was the prettiest angel in the town. Nothing could have haunted her, not her past of sure. So she thought.

But she was wrong, in next few seconds song being played got sadder. And before she could realize it, she was walking towards the door. She was feeling a storm inside her head with every piano note. She wanted to bang the door and get inside and see who was waking up the dark memories in her mind. She felt weak, yet she gathered all strength and reached the door. She clinched her fist, and she moved her hand in the air to strike it on the door, and before she could do that - the clouds thundered. She took aback by that. But she held ground for her and moved further again. She was about to bang on the door and again the clouds thundered, this time opening the door.

As the doors opened up, the lights went off and there was darkness in the bungalow. The entire hall had no lights except the candle near the piano, and piano was still crying out its heart at the fingerprints of the male figure she was dying to see. She stumbled as she walked into the darkness towards the piano. The song was still getting intense. The pianist was putting his soul into the song. She was heading towards the piano, he did not notice.

She came down walking the stairs in the hall. She kept her feet on one of the floor tiles. A sensational cold wave ran through her spine, she felt lost. The pianist continued. She felt weaker. The chords got saddest they could get. Her eyes got wet, tears were in her eyes. The song continued. Her entire life flashed in front of her eyes. She missed him. The only boy who loved her truly with all his heart, the one she never cared for. She chose all wrong ones, and he did nothing wrong in his life except loving her. She laughed at him when she expressed his love for her, she remembered.

Why am I remembering him now, what does this have anything to do with him? She thought. She felt something was wrong in that air. She continued walking, he continued playing piano. The tears continued. She took first step on the floor tile, and the tile glowed up. She wandered and took another step and another tile shined up. The song was into last verse. He was playing it intensely, the atmosphere turned gloomy, sad. She had teardrops in her eyes, rolling down her cheeks, one of those fall on another tile and the tile turned into a dark tile. She continued walking, he continued playing piano. As she walked on the floor, every floor tile she walked on turned snow-white, and every tile where she shed tear turned into a dark one. And, after some seconds the clouds thundered again and flashed the light. She looked towards the door and she could see the piano like design on the floor where she walked on.

She walked heavily. He played intensely. She wished, if only she had her magic wand in her hand and she would have turned the bungalow with the white lights. But then she remembered she doesn't have one then.

As she finally reached near the piano, she looked down at the floor again. The pianist had stopped playing the piano. She looked back towards the door again, and she noticed all the tiles she walked on were moving, as if someone was playing them as piano keys - the black tiles and some whites. And then she turned her head towards the piano to see who was the one playing it. But it took by surprise when a lady wearing a dark brown gown, which was kissing the floor as she walked, was walking towards her. The lady looked a witch with a better face. She called that woman wearing the black dress as 'witch' in the mind. As the witch came closer, she found the witch's face looked exactly like her if she just adds few more years into her age.

Looking for this? The witch asked her, showing a magic wind in the air.
Umm, how did you found it? She asked.
The question is how did you lost it? The witch asked.
I gave it to him, when he came searching for me... She said.
And, he gave it to me. The witch said.
And, who are you? She asked.
You did not recognize me? I am you. I am the darker version of you. The one controlling dark side of you. I am the one doing all bad that you do. Question is - who are you? The witch said.
I don't know who I am... She said.
But I know, I am 'you' from your future. The darker you, mystic, gloomy, sad, alone - all because I hurt a lot of people when I was younger. I took pride in my beauty. I pushed away all the good people in my life. I hurt him... in my past. And, here I am now, living alone. He just came here a while ago, searching for you... The witch said.
I don't know what to do. I feel sorry for what I have done in the past. When I look back, I don't feel proud of me. What do I do now? She asked.
I don't know. May be apologize? See if his heart still beats for you? Prove you deserve him. Say you're sorry? I am leaving now. The witch said, waving her hand signaling goodbye. And, yeah, I am no witch - I am you, you from the future. Now is the time you have, to not have me in your future. Do the right thing, without the magic wand. And it is no more your wand. It is no more a magic wand now. The witch continued before she disappeared.

She gathered herself up and looked across the hall. She saw a flowerpot on nearby table with red roses in it. She tried pulling one of the rose from it, and one of the thorn did its job. Thorn hurt her finger. The tiny, red drop of blood come out from tip of her finger and fell on one of the floor tile. As her blood drop reached the floor, the clouds thundered again. For next few moments she lost her consciousness. When she was back into her senses, she realized she had traveled a lot of distance in past few seconds.

And, when she opened her eyes again - she was standing next to him, on the black tarred road. With tears in her eyes, she apologized and asked him the same question - Will you please give me another chance to start it over again?, as she offered him the red rose.

He looked at her, he took the red rose she offered. She started crying again and hugged him. He hugged her back with tears in his eyes and said, Yes, I will....

14 February 2016

When You Are With Me, Every Day Is Valentine's Day

when-you-are-with-me-every-day-is-valentines-dayChocolates, coffee and red roses;
Hugs, pouts and selfie poses.” 
It's Valentine's day!

“Darling, will you be there for me always and not just today?” 
She asks, before pouting her lips, taking a picture with him.

“I want to marry you,
I want to carry your sorrows on my shoulders, 
And share my happiness with you,
I want to be your comfort,
I will be there for you every single day,
No matter how things go bad,
I will always make things fine,
I will change all the dates for you my love,
And will make every single day - 'Valentine'!” 
He replies, hugging her, as he whispers his promising words into her ears.

And, with the red roses in her hand, like the dark chocolates, she melts into his love, blissfully.

Tere ishq ko...

Tere ishq ko thukra du,
Aisi guroor wali fitrat nahi hamari...

Par umra bhar tera intezar karenge, wafa mein teri,
Ye bewafa, itni buri bhi halat nahi hamari...


तेरे इश्क़ को ठूकरा दु,
ऐसी गुरूर वाली फ़ितरत नही हमारी।

पर उम्र भर तेरा इन्तजार करते रहेंगे, वफा मे तेरी,
ऐ बेवफा, इतनी बुरी भी हालात नही हमारी।

27 December 2015

You Don't Have To...

You don't have to like me;
I don't have to hate you.

You don't have to remember me;
I don't have to forget you!

10 November 2015

Love is a lucky draw

Telling your parents about your love, 
asking their permission for marriage is like - participating in the lucky draw where you are the only one participating, 
still, you are not sure about winning!

12 September 2015

Will you give me a chance to start it over again?

Image source: http://www.mrwallpaper.com/woman-flower-petals-dress-wallpaper/
Last night I had a dream. 

I saw you walking alone on some unknown road. You were wearing a half sleeve backless white colored dress. It looked like a christian wedding gown. You were walking alone with a bunch of red roses in your hand. And you were removing rose petals off the roses and throwing those on the ground.

When I saw you, I called out your name but you probably didn't listen or maybe you decided to ignore me. You kept on walking, so I decided to ignore your ignorance about me. I tried chasing you on a dark black tarred road with greenery on both sides. You in your own world, were walking fast, even in the wedding gown that you wore. Your dress glittered, it shined. Some white birds flew over the road, it felt like they sung a song and words rhymed. Your skin was shining in that backless dress as you walked, and, I felt like I was walking in the clouds chasing an angel.

And when I finally chased you down by walking faster and tried to speak with you, you stopped for a while.
"Where are you going?" I asked with curiosity.
"Somewhere I don't belong. But it's too late to question everything now." You said. "You could have tried it harder, you could have walked faster," you continued as you pulled out your magic wand out of nowhere and pointed it at me. 
"You can start it over again," you said and you closed your eyes.
And within a moment I found myself back to the square one, in the same place from where I began your chase.

I started chasing you again. This time I was walking faster than the previous time. I was almost running towards you. And when I chased you down again, you looked at me, you smiled in a weird way. It felt like you were crying out inside. You came close to me.
"Where are you going?" I asked you again.
"Somewhere I don't belong." Saying so you smiled again and your voice turned heavy. You pulled out your magic wand again and pointed it at me.
"Take this wand with you. A time might come in future, when I will come chasing you down. And, maybe then you should point this at me and ask me to try harder. Will you do that for me? Will you give me a chance to start it over again?" You asked me.

You closed your moist eyes again, and within a moment, I saw you walking a mile ahead of me and your wand was in my hand.

I was standing on the road, alone, thinking about you - my angel, thinking about the question you asked - "Will you give me a chance to start it over again?"

09 September 2015

It's just you who knows how you feel!

It's just you who knows how you feel!
It's probably just you who go through all ups, downs and sufferings in love, and no one else can understand that. It's just you who knows how hard it is to give up on someone who is so close to your heart. 

Your friends or family might console you for a while but they will never understand what you are really going through. They will never understand how difficult it is to think about someone else when they ask you to stop thinking about someone you loved for and dreamed of for years. And when you have invested so much time thinking about him or her, even simply thought of thinking about someone else makes you feel guilty.

And, then sometimes you don't understand what's right and what's wrong. You don't know what should you do next - give upon someone you hold onto for long time or give a thought about someone else.

Probably it's just you who understands you or maybe it's not even you!

06 August 2015

Matrimony Profile - Why Not Here?

A married friend of mine accidentally suggested this to me.

One day we were talking and I asked how was his married life.
'It's demanding,' he said.

And, while talking I mentioned that I was thinking of registering on few matrimony sites. First he questioned why didn't I give it a try with love-marriage, and asked me to start with asking the girl(s) I like.
I told him that I was done with asking about it to the girl(s) I like.
'Did you ask right question?' He asked.
'Yes, I did. Right questions to right girls!' I answered.
At least I thought those were the few right girls I knew.
'Did you really like at least one of them?' He asked.
'Yeah, I liked all of them.' I said.
'And were you in love with any of them?'
'Umm, yesss, I was in love with one of them.'
'She wasn't in love with me!'
'Oh, man! That sucks!'
'Yes, it does. I have spent years sulking about it. If that's not love, I don't know what it is!'
'Was she the one?'
'Yes, she was the one!'
'Did she knew about this?'
'Yes, for past four years she knew, and she always knew that I liked and loved her.'
'Did she had a boyfriend?'
'I don't know, she said she likes someone. But I am not sure he was her boyfriend. And, even if she was her boyfriend, she won't marry him!'
'Umm, is she the one you wrote about?'
'And she knew about that too?'
'That totally sucks! May be... OK this is what I think, may be you deserve someone better than her!' He said.
'She said the same thing to me that she wasn't right fit for me and I deserve someone better than her.' I said. 'What do they mean when they say things like this. Do I look like someone with odd measurements that no one ever fits for me?' I asked.
'Dude, there is nothing wrong with you, seriously! Sometimes we don't get what we always want! Just don't waste more time thinking about her, move on! I got one idea - why don't you put up your matrimony profile here on your blog?'
'What the...!'
'Yeah, you heard it right! Put it up here. Let's make this interesting.You were in love and not in a relationship. You can put your data here. Lets see if any girl with a similar story like yours reads this and at least gives a thought about this. How old are you now?' He asked.
'Same as yours! Just completed 27 years!'
'Did I marry too young?' He asked.
'What? And, this is the time you gave your marriage a thought?' I replied.
'Freak! No, I am just kidding with you. Or did I really marry too young?'
'Anyways, give me your laptop. Let me write this one for you!'
'Are you sure you want to do this?'
'Are you sure you want to get married someday?'
'Yeah, someday!'
'Well then hand it over to me, let me write it down.'

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Name: Manoj.
27 years, 5 ft - 8 inch, 68 kg, Wheatish complexion.
Did Bachelors in Engineering in IT from Sinhgad Institutes, Vadgaon, Pune.
Doing job in Pune in an IT company since 2010 till now.
Does coding and writes stories with same love.


From a well educated family:
Dad - Lawyer.
Mum - Housewife.
Brother - IRS through UPSC exam [Govt. of India], married.
Brother's wife - Nayab Tehsildar through MPSC exam [Govt. of Maharashtra].


- Can watch 20-25 Hollywood movies per month!
- Can speak total filmy!
- Can crack funniest and punniest jokes all the time.
- Down to earth, always loved sitting under the green trees and blue sky!
- Got songs for most of the situations.
- Has caring, sensitive soul.
- Loves coffee, tea, colors, good stories.
- Loves all kind of music from Marathi Lavanis to Bollywood Songs, Ghazals, Qawwalis; to English Rock, Hip-Hop, and Pop songs!
- Owns dimples :)
- And yeah, die-hard romantic! Yes, you read(felt) it right!

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

For more details - ask anything you want to know.
Email id: empulsea @ gmail dot com

02 April 2015

As beautiful and tender as you!

As beautiful and tender as you!She was the one who would make my heart run faster and breaths run slower at the same time. She was the one hearing whom was always a pleasant experience. She was the one with short hairs and a cute smile. She was the one I had a huge crush on. She was the one I was resting my love-life future on. She was the one seeing whom would make something in my stomach. She was the one I could stare at for hours. She was the one why fell in love with caffeine. And she did not know that.

Those lovely feeling and thoughts in my heart for her were seeking a way to outburst themselves. And, I couldn't share those with anyone. Not until I was sure about something, something that I did not know about her feelings about me. That’s where diary came to rescue me. And then till the right time came, only my diary knew – how tender yet heavy load of feelings my heart was carrying, and what I was up to – something huge, huge for me, and something beautiful, beautiful as she was!
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